By Julia Stark
Silk, a lightweight material
A beautiful luxurious substance held by those of great stature, from lords to ladies
No question why a child would want to see a fabric of this caliber
But this child did not want just a look
When no one was watching, he took the fabric into the washroom
He draped the shimmering cloth along the wall where he tugged at the edges
Stretching the seams, tense
The durable cloth remained strong but the pressing and prying was far too much
Small tears traced edge to edge
Rip… rip … rip
The tiny sewn on pearls fell delicately to the floor
One after another they dropped
But only until he was satisfied and finished did his prodding cease
The torn silk that was one whole, was dusted off, wiped down and folded messily
The boy ran before a seamstress could see what he had done to the silk
But the tear was still there
Episodically I remember the night
My body shakes, my eyes flood with tears, my chest tightens
Making it harder and harder to breathe..
But that’s only first period
Some days, more
Some days, less
Some days, when I am talking to my mom about my day
But most days I rely on the same procedure to get me through the day
I leave class a bit later,
To not run into him
I avoid taking certain routes,
In the chance he might be there
If I see him
I hide
I put my head down
I cover my face
I look away
I run
Anything
Anything to get away from him
Anything for him not to see me
Or look at me, with those eyes
Those invasive eyes that continue to watch me shudder with every cold touch
Those eyes that saw the tears drench my face
But my days are not unique or special
The truth is that many people live in this world of constant fear
The fear of reliving these nightmares
The fear of receiving more pain
The fear of not being believed
These fears are common
And may reside in someone near
Maybe even you
Because the inevitable truth is this
One in three women will be sexually assaulted within their lifetime
And one in five women will be raped
Those have been statistics for so long and yet nothing has happened
Society has created a false sense of safety
But I walk the halls in constant fear
Afraid that I will see him
But he
He still walks to class
With a smile
Leave a Reply